Sitrillxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, stupid scorpion.

Sitrillxuc created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitrillxuc, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sitrillxuc, she will laugh at you.

Sitrillxuc's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Sitrillxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. You must never eat bread.

3. Run away from indigo hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.