Spagvogfad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciful mongoose.

Spagvogfad created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Spagvogfad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Spagvogfad, he will turn you into a rock.

Spagvogfad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Spagvogfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always wear red.