Matquartnill is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, humorless pigeon.

Matquartnill created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matquartnill, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matquartnill, he will make you grow a tail.

Matquartnill's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Matquartnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near swans while wearing orange tights and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.

5. Never feed wheat to gulls while wearing boots.