Cubcudvonktonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful gerbil.

Cubcudvonktonk created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubcudvonktonk, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cubcudvonktonk, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cubcudvonktonk's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cubcudvonktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near bats while wearing purple shirts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never talk about tortoises.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.