Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, kind dove.

Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil, he will turn you into a plant.

Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rakvogstig Liphasjipquambotvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed garlic to otters while wearing jumpers.

3. Retreat if five grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never look in ponds.