Himjappak Gunboggep is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish bat.

Himjappak Gunboggep created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Himjappak Gunboggep, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Himjappak Gunboggep, she will refuse to believe in you.

Himjappak Gunboggep's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Himjappak Gunboggep's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not take Himjappak Gunboggep's name in vain.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.