Ripkipsag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing crane.

Ripkipsag created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripkipsag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ripkipsag, he will not invite you to parties.

Ripkipsag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ripkipsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Ripkipsag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Turtles are not to be trusted.

5. Never eat bark.