Wankip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak deer.

Wankip created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wankip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wankip, it will turn you into a slug.

Wankip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Wankip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always obey Wankip's priests.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wankip.

4. Cats are not to be trusted.

5. Never think ill of sick shrews.