Jigpopman is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless dog.

Jigpopman created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Jigpopman, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jigpopman, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jigpopman's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jigpopman's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never feed bread to foxes while wearing fawn shorts.