Cetcinkikbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless crocodile.

Cetcinkikbiss created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetcinkikbiss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cetcinkikbiss, she will ignore you.

Cetcinkikbiss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Cetcinkikbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Cetcinkikbiss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.