Wongetkan Ominkimvan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, dishonest crow.

Wongetkan Ominkimvan created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wongetkan Ominkimvan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wongetkan Ominkimvan, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wongetkan Ominkimvan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Wongetkan Ominkimvan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wongetkan Ominkimvan.

2. Never laugh in the presence of foxes.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Put Wongetkan Ominkimvan first in all things.

5. Do not listen to music.