Labsandditpang is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, egotistical wren.

Labsandditpang created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labsandditpang, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Labsandditpang, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Labsandditpang's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Labsandditpang's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Labsandditpang nine times a day.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.