Fed is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish jaguar.

Fed created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fed, she will cry a lot.

Fed's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never chant in holy places.