Haningpig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, egotistical shrew.

Haningpig created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Haningpig, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Haningpig, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Haningpig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Haningpig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Put Haningpig first in all things.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. Never paint your head white.