Wodsaggumnurtbutzan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable bear.

Wodsaggumnurtbutzan created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wodsaggumnurtbutzan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wodsaggumnurtbutzan, he will turn you into a plant.

Wodsaggumnurtbutzan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wodsaggumnurtbutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Erect four gold sculptures of Wodsaggumnurtbutzan on top of important buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.