Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, quiet pigeon.

Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan seven times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always obey Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan's priests.

4. Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarpwodyat Quagstragfosstan.