Huglenvan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident rhinoceros.

Huglenvan created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Huglenvan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Huglenvan, it will turn you into a rock.

Huglenvan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Huglenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Run away from brown great tits, for they are unholy.