Mitfidbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, conceited raccoon.

Mitfidbaf created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Mitfidbaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mitfidbaf, it will come to you in dreams.

Mitfidbaf's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Mitfidbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Mitfidbaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Always obey Mitfidbaf's priests.

4. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the north.