Flagbemyast is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, competent jaguar.

Flagbemyast created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagbemyast, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flagbemyast, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flagbemyast's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flagbemyast's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flagbemyast.

5. Always take life seriously.