Flabpanfum is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient armadillo.

Flabpanfum created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabpanfum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flabpanfum, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flabpanfum's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flabpanfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never think about asteroids.