Lapbudcab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless skunk.

Lapbudcab created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbudcab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapbudcab, he will laugh at you.

Lapbudcab's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Lapbudcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Never write about planets.