Bessdutlist is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish hamster.

Bessdutlist created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessdutlist, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessdutlist, it will turn you into a rock.

Bessdutlist's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bessdutlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not kill voles.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Do not commit murder.