Linwatveg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witless narwhal.

Linwatveg created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Linwatveg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Linwatveg, it will come to you in dreams.

Linwatveg's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Linwatveg's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never mention great tits.