Ponkikmob is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, wise hyena.

Ponkikmob created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponkikmob, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ponkikmob, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ponkikmob's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Ponkikmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Put Ponkikmob first in all things.

5. Do not listen to music.