Yattcissget is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, capable snail.

Yattcissget created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattcissget, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yattcissget, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yattcissget's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yattcissget's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never chant near foxes.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.