Dumcebcim Venkimmif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, almighty fairy.

Dumcebcim Venkimmif created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumcebcim Venkimmif, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dumcebcim Venkimmif, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dumcebcim Venkimmif's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dumcebcim Venkimmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to seals while wearing black rings.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.