Japnuttdag is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable weasel.

Japnuttdag created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japnuttdag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Japnuttdag, it will turn you into a mole.

Japnuttdag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Japnuttdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Worship no other gods but Japnuttdag.

4. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the north.

5. Never skip near porpoises.