Gummatjad Sakmadjin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, omniscient beaver.

Gummatjad Sakmadjin created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Gummatjad Sakmadjin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gummatjad Sakmadjin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gummatjad Sakmadjin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gummatjad Sakmadjin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never paint your head red.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.