Staflakdubripraglam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered slug.

Staflakdubripraglam created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Staflakdubripraglam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Staflakdubripraglam, he will be very unhappy.

Staflakdubripraglam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Staflakdubripraglam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing turquoise scarves.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near geese while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.