Yarppomwap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, blissful tapir.

Yarppomwap created oxygen twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarppomwap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarppomwap, it will turn you into a slug.

Yarppomwap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yarppomwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Yarppomwap must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Hide from fawn great tits for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.