Donvonyimkip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy shrew.

Donvonyimkip created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Donvonyimkip, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Donvonyimkip, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Donvonyimkip's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Donvonyimkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

5. Never sprint in holy places.