Gesstitrap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent duck.

Gesstitrap created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstitrap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gesstitrap, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gesstitrap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gesstitrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Gesstitrap in the centre of the settlement.