Canstipbot is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, moody monkey.

Canstipbot created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Canstipbot, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Canstipbot, she will turn you into a hamster.

Canstipbot's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Canstipbot's Holy Commandments

1. Canstipbot loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Canstipbot on top of all buildings.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Never jump near ducks.

5. Do not cook food in pots.