Vadtaddadquag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow cat.

Vadtaddadquag created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vadtaddadquag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vadtaddadquag, it will turn you into a rock.

Vadtaddadquag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vadtaddadquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of ducks.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vadtaddadquag.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. You must love Vadtaddadquag.