Sugkemcarhancum is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful goose.

Sugkemcarhancum created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Sugkemcarhancum, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sugkemcarhancum, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sugkemcarhancum's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sugkemcarhancum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near porpoises.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the north.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.