Linrowstaf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional snail.

Linrowstaf created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linrowstaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Linrowstaf, he will turn you into a sheep.

Linrowstaf's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Linrowstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.