Fidfenvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring rhinoceros.

Fidfenvonk created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Fidfenvonk, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fidfenvonk, it will turn you into a tree.

Fidfenvonk's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fidfenvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. Never run near turtles.