Govwotzak Yogfetbus is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful hydra.

Govwotzak Yogfetbus created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govwotzak Yogfetbus, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Govwotzak Yogfetbus, it will turn you into a rock.

Govwotzak Yogfetbus' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Govwotzak Yogfetbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Govwotzak Yogfetbus must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear violet corsets.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.