Xuckarfbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, stupid swallow.

Xuckarfbog created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckarfbog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xuckarfbog, she will make you grow a tail.

Xuckarfbog's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Xuckarfbog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Run away from brown mites, for they are unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.