Hotguncem Dissappquat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, thoughtless dove.

Hotguncem Dissappquat created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotguncem Dissappquat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hotguncem Dissappquat, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hotguncem Dissappquat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hotguncem Dissappquat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hotguncem Dissappquat.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Hotguncem Dissappquat loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.