Hasfengessdin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent chinchilla.

Hasfengessdin created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasfengessdin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hasfengessdin, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hasfengessdin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hasfengessdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. You must pray to Hasfengessdin seven times a day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat corn.