Kemcatwot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic spider.

Kemcatwot created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemcatwot, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemcatwot, he will turn you into a hamster.

Kemcatwot's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kemcatwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Kemcatwot must be the most important thing in your life.