Catdonbin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring porpoise.

Catdonbin created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catdonbin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Catdonbin, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catdonbin's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Catdonbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.