Zagmotzak Parkved is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody squid.

Zagmotzak Parkved created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmotzak Parkved, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagmotzak Parkved, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zagmotzak Parkved's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zagmotzak Parkved's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head blue.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Never go into black rooms.