Gigwitzen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, conceited meerkat.

Gigwitzen created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigwitzen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gigwitzen, she will think nothing of it.

Gigwitzen's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Gigwitzen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Gigwitzen's priests.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.