Flammiljad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, annoying mole.

Flammiljad created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flammiljad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flammiljad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Flammiljad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Flammiljad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flammiljad.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never eat carrots.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never feed bananas to tortoises while wearing fawn tights.