Wigrowtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wigrowtaf created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wigrowtaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wigrowtaf, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Wigrowtaf's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wigrowtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wigrowtaf first in all things.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Wigrowtaf on top of all buildings.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always treat dogs with great respect.

5. Never think about moons.