Cadgovgilkop is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous weasel.

Cadgovgilkop created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadgovgilkop, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cadgovgilkop, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cadgovgilkop's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cadgovgilkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Cadgovgilkop loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always help cats.

5. Always stare at clouds.