Zodflowten is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, strong porpoise.

Zodflowten created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Zodflowten, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zodflowten, it will turn you into a snail.

Zodflowten's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Zodflowten's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Zodflowten in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Never paint your neck mauve.