Davstanbifmilrowyogced is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust porpoise.

Davstanbifmilrowyogced created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Davstanbifmilrowyogced, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Davstanbifmilrowyogced, he will ignore you.

Davstanbifmilrowyogced's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Davstanbifmilrowyogced's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Davstanbifmilrowyogced loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Never laugh near dolphins.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.